Advice for Teens, Part 2: Your Venus PlacementReturn to article
By Natori MooreHere's the moment you've been waiting for. We're going to talk about your love life! On top of that, we're going to use astrology to do it. I know it's a little hard to hide your excitement. Because let's face it -- if you've been around astrology for even a little while, you know it can be powerful stuff.
In this article we'll look at Venus, the planet that symbolizes your style of relating with others, and the kinds of love experiences you tend to attract. You’ll learn not only how Venus influences your love life, but how Venus is important in the way you relate to EVERYONE. We don't usually learn much in school about what Venus can teach us. Venus lessons usually happen in our friendships, our families, and especially in our love relationships, where we learn what works and what doesn't work in relationships, what we like and don’t like, how we treat others and how they treat us.
Here’s an example. Suppose a friend loaned you a sweatshirt, and you lost it. You agreed to pay her for it, but before you could do so, she went out and bought herself a sweatshirt to replace it that cost $40 more than the one you lost. She expected you to pay for the new one. What would you do? Some of us would pay for the new sweatshirt and go without lunch money for a week. Others would pay the friend but yell at her angrily while doing so, or secretly vow to get even with her. Still others would pay her back but then talk about her behind her back to all of her friends so everyone would KNOW what she had done.
The smartest person would probably tell her, “Look, I’ll pay for the cost of the sweatshirt that I lost, but I’m not willing to pay the extra $40.” Makes sense, right? Yet how many of us would handle a situation like this so sensibly? Whether it’s owing money, owing an apology, talking to people about difficult subjects, or expressing our emotions at the right time, situations like these arise every day with people we know and care about. Yet most of us are not naturally skilled in knowing how to use our Venus energies to solve these problems.
Sometimes, in fact, the most intellectually gifted among us are the least Venus-smart. Recently, a group of San Diego high school honor students decided to spray paint "1999", their year of graduation, in large numbers on a wall at their high school. What they didn't realize is that doing this on public property is now considered a crime in California. They were required to pay a large fine and clean off the paint, and were also prevented from attending their graduation ceremony and activities. You might say these were harsh penalties, which perhaps they were. But think about it -- these were honor students much like those you may know in your own school. They held student council offices and were respected and well-liked by their friends and teachers. What were they thinking? They had plenty of "book smarts" or scholarly intelligence of the type we discussed last month -- plenty of A's on their report cards -- but as far as knowing how to act intelligently in this situation is concerned, they were not so smart.
Consider also the case of a young woman I know, who recently spent two days crying to her friends and boyfriend after she received her first traffic ticket at age 18. She is smart, popular, accomplished, and on her way to a good college, but receiving a traffic ticket threw her for an emotional loop. It cut into her other activities for a few days. Don't get me wrong -- traffic tickets are unpleasant and tears are a release of emotion that we all need from time to time. But had this young woman been more experienced in handling potentially upsetting situations like this one, had she some insight into her emotional nature that the Venus sign can provide, she may have been able to make it through her traffic ticket experience with more composure.
In another more personal example, when I was a first-year student at Stanford University in the 1980s, my roommate would get up early from our dorm room and go down the hall to shower before her 8 a.m. math class. Then she would creep back into our room while I was still asleep, leaving the wet towels she had used to dry off after her shower at the foot of my bed. I would find them an hour or so later when I woke up. I don't think she meant to be mean by doing this. It was simply the most convenient empty space she could find to put them in a small dorm room. But it bothered me that she left them there, and I wished she wouldn't. Though I had been an honor student, top athlete and Senior Class President at my California high school, I found it NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to ask her not to leave her towels at the foot of my bed! And you thought Alicia Silverstone was Clueless! It took months of conflict in my head about what to do and trips to campus advisors before I could even begin to approach this matter with her.
Then there are those people -- and I'm sure you know some of them -- who, rather than not knowing quite how to act in social situations, act by being loud, dramatic or surprisingly violent. Consider the terrible events of the past few years that have occurred on school grounds, such as the killings at Colorado's Columbine High School in April 1999. Though it is tragic that no one was able to stop Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold from their shooting spree, it's also tragic that no one, including these young men themselves, had much insight into why they were frustrated and angry enough to kill. The birth charts of both Harris and Kleibold show Venus in a difficult relationship to the planet Pluto. This is much like having Venus in Scorpio, which at its worst can be angry, destructive, hell-bent on revenge, and have a cold, hard, “nothing to lose” attitude. This terrible coldness enabled these boys to laugh cruelly at those they killed and follow through on their destructive plans.
Their difficult Venus-Pluto placements also gave Harris and Kleibold potentially explosive personalities and a tendency to view themselves as either better or worse than everyone else. As is typical of the dark side of Venus in Scorpio, these two did not like anyone weak, female, well-liked, or popular, and they generally killed people who fell into one of these categories. They killed both those they felt superior to, and those who they thought had some advantage over them -- those who were "insiders" in a way that Harris and Kleibold were not. Without knowing much about what was going on inside of these two young men, nothing was done in time to ward off their actions. Imagine if Harris, Kleibold and their friends, parents and teachers had known from the start that they both had very difficult astrological placements of Venus. Imagine how they might have learned to express their anger and frustrations, let off steam, and accept people who are different from them. Maybe in time, they would even have learned why treating others with kindness is important.
Now all this talk of tragedy and destruction may seem kind of heavy, when we were only going to talk about love! But love is more than daisies and chocolate-dipped strawberries. It's learning why you treat people the way you do, and how you can treat them better. It’s knowing what your needs are, knowing how to meet your needs and those of the people you love. Studying the position of Venus in the birth chart is a great way to begin to do this. To find your exact Venus sign, you will need a copy of your individual natal (birth) chart (www.astrocom.com). Venus can be in one of FIVE signs at your birth, unlike Mercury, as we saw last month, which can be in one of three. For a general clue to which five signs may contain your Venus, look up your Sun sign in the first column of Table 1. Then read across to the right to determine your possible Venus signs. As you can tell, it's a lot more fun when you have a copy of your birth chart and can find your exact Venus placement. In the meantime, you can have fun speculating which Venus sign seems to fit you best.
Table 1 Your Sun Sign (Dates) Your Possible Venus Signs Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20) Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 21) Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo Leo (Jul 22 - Aug 22) Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 20) Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius Capricorn (Dec 21 - Jan 19) Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Aries, Taurus If you have:
Venus in Aries (Group A)
You are direct and go after what you want. No one usually has to guess what you feel or who interests you! You are a born leader and a great social spark plug who gets things moving with both friends and strangers. You probably like kung fu movies and red cars. You are often first to express affection but sometimes you are too obvious or pushy. You may need to be more subtle and tactful to get what you want. You fall in love quickly, and can fall out of love just as quickly. You need to learn patience in love. When you mature, you can be very devoted. You anger easily, but when you express your feelings right away and move on, you are one of the quickest Venus signs to forgive. What you have to give: Enthusiasm. What you need to learn most: Cooperation. Famous person with Venus in Aries: Jewel Kilcher
Venus in Taurus (Group B)
Relax...yours is one of the naturally smart Venus placements. If you're not too lazy, that is. You enjoy the simple pleasures of life -- a warm place to live, soft bed, tasty food, and a big easy chair to nap in. If you can enjoy any of these comforts in pleasant outdoor surroundings, so much the better. You like nature, appreciate music and art, and want good quality in the things that you buy. You are loyal and reliable but may need to make sure your relationships don't get stale out of habit. Your best approach is to draw people to you with your quiet strength rather than racing out after them. You are often the calm in the center of the storm, someone your friends can count on. Avoid treating people as possessions or only liking them for their "stuff." What you have to give: Stability. What you need to learn most: Change can be good! Famous Person with Venus in Taurus: Liv Tyler
Venus in Gemini (Group A)
You have one of the more difficult Venus placements because it's hard for you to make up your mind about what you want. No one thing holds your interest for very long. You are quite curious, and enjoy finding out details about people you meet every day. You would make a good tour guide or teacher as you love learning and sharing information. Variety is very important to you and you may have friends from many different groups at school. Sometimes you may talk about people just to release tension. The next time you start to do that, ask yourself, "Is what I'm about to say really necessary?" You are naturally funny and your sense of humor attracts people to you. Learn to keep your attention focused on the person you're with, and develop a few relationships more deeply rather than scattering your attention. What you have to give: A playful spirit. What you need to learn most: Nothing grows well without time and attention. Famous Person with Venus in Gemini: Brooke Shields
Venus in Cancer (Group B)
You are sweet and sentimental and you hope for a happy home and family life. Your moods go up and down and you can be insecure, often seeking reassurance from those you love. You are fiercely protective of people and places that mean a lot to you, like a bear protecting her cubs. Sometimes you want to be babied, and that's okay! But, since Cancer is the "mother" sign of the zodiac, you also have a tendency to take care of others (feeding, giving advice, finding lost things, etc.) and may sometimes need to let people do things for themselves. You enjoy spending time at home or in the homes of your friends rather than going out a lot. You can probably learn a lot from your relatives, especially your grandparents. You can be easily hurt in love and must be careful about choosing the people with whom you share your heart. What you have to give: Emotional closeness. What you need to learn most: Real security comes from inside. Famous Person with Venus in Cancer: Ben Affleck
Venus in Leo (Group A)
You are a passionate person with a great wish to be noticed and appreciated. You are very generous and want to find warmth and beauty in the lives of your friends and loved ones. Though you can be dramatic and tend to exaggerate, you have a great capacity for devotion. It's a good idea for you to have some area in life where you can be a "star," whether through drama, sports, or teaching younger children. Dating was probably invented with you in mind, as you love romance and are very creative in thinking of new places to go and things to try. Remember to get to know the actual person you date, rather than a vision of that person that may seem real to you, but is really only your fantasy. What you have to give: Confidence. What you need to learn most: Humility. Famous Person with Venus in Leo: Ryan Phillippe
Venus in Virgo (Group B)
You are often shy, and may find it hard to make friends. Sometimes you are critical of yourself, and avoid people because you fear criticism from others. Other people aren't nearly as likely to notice your flaws as you are. You often try to figure your relationships out, as if you could take them apart piece by piece. Try being more relaxed about them and see what happens. You are neat and orderly and like people who have good math, computer or "fix-it" skills. You can be quite happy keeping yourself company with your friends and projects. Don't let people pressure you into a dating scene if you are not ready for it. Sometimes your desire for perfection in relationships can lead you avoid them entirely or to settle for anyone. Keep your standards high, but realize that no one is perfect. What you have to give: Modesty. What you need to learn most: Not to worry. Famous Person with Venus in Virgo: Lacey Chabert
Venus in Libra (Group A)
You have the potential to have great relationships. You have a natural ability to cooperate, and you usually demonstrate grace and fairness in your interactions with others. Your Venus is at the balancing point halfway through the zodiac. This makes you a good peacemaker between your friends. You could be a good attorney, artist, or salesperson by using your ability to negotiate, your love of beauty and balance, and your charm. You like music and art, and find ugliness in any form quite irritating. On the down side, sometimes it is hard for you to know what you think or feel without asking other people. You need to try to develop opinions and standards of your own. What you have to give: Companionship. What you need to learn most: Not caring QUITE as much what other people think. Famous Person with Venus in Libra: Jenna Elfman
Venus in Scorpio (Group B)
With Venus in Scorpio you have special responsibilities. You have strong desires and must direct them toward your highest goals for best results. You are passionate and intense in your relationships. In fact, sometimes you might secretly enjoy creating a big crisis in your life just so you can fix or clean it up! You have a strong influence on others for good or bad, and should try to use your healing (constructive) rather than mean (destructive) tendencies. You are good at keeping secrets, but you can be jealous and controlling at times. You are likely to learn a lot through your sexual experiences. You tend to rush into these when it might be better to stand back and get to know a person in other ways beforehand. You can also help others learn how to use their sexuality wisely. Your anger can seem invisible to others until the day it boils over, so try to let off a little bit of steam at a time. What you have to give: Intensity. What you need to learn most: How to lighten up, how to let people be free. Famous Persons with Venus in Scorpio: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tiger Woods
Venus in Sagittarius (Group A)
You are happy-go-lucky and optimistic about love. You see life as a great adventure and you need the people you love to allow you freedom to travel, either in reality or in your mind. You usually have strong beliefs that guide your life, but sometimes you throw caution to the wind a little too easily! You freely share your feelings, and can sometimes hurt people by your directness. You probably are happiest in relationships with people who share your philosophy of life. You need to get away from it all from time to time, to get a bigger picture of what is going on in your life. Going up high on a nearby mountain can help you clear your mind. You may have talents in sports or religion and have friends from many different countries or backgrounds. You believe the best about people, but sometimes you overlook their deepest needs. What you have to give: Adventure. What you need to learn most: How to pay attention to little things. Famous Person with Venus in Sagittarius: Tatyana Ali
Venus in Capricorn (Group B)
You are reliable, serious, and tend to follow through on what you say you will do. You see love as an investment, something you are careful to choose wisely about, because you want it to last. You may have had a difficult early family life, in which not much affection was displayed. For some of you, it may take longer than it does for your friends to meet that true love, and you may encounter frustrating disappointments or delays. Since Capricorn relates to the principle of TIME, you can benefit from making the most of yourself and focusing on your own goals so you will be prepared when the right partner for you does arrive. You are more sensible than many in love, and can be honest with those you care about regarding what is really going on. You tend to learn from your love experiences, unlike some who keep repeating them again and again. You also can be fearful, however. Watch to see if you turn down perfectly good opportunities that come up. You have more walls up that others, sometimes for good reason. Your challenge is letting those walls down with people you can trust. What you have to give: Reliability. What you need to learn most: Some people can be trusted. Famous person with Venus in Capricorn: Jonny Lang
Venus in Aquarius (Group A)
You are a little strange, if I may say so! Actually, what I mean is that you enjoy the offbeat, unique and different in life. You like computers, technology and revolutionary ideas. You enjoy trying new things and meeting unusual people, and accept almost anyone without judgment. One of your great gifts is the ability to set other people free in a way that many Venus signs find difficult. You see a person you love not as someone to be owned (sometimes a Venus in Taurus problem), or put on a pedestal (sometimes a Venus in Leo problem), or only merged with sexually (sometimes a Venus in Scorpio problem), but as a unique friend valuable in his or her own right. On the down side, sometimes you keep a distance in your relationships that others find frustrating. They may want to feel more special or singled out, whereas you enjoy having a more detached kind of connection. Sometimes you can be too cold, and break connections off with people too suddenly. But you can be a great friend, especially for someone going through a heartache or breakup in love. What you have to give: Independence. What you need to learn most: Romance and devotion. Famous Person with Venus in Aquarius: Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
Venus in Pisces (Group B)
You are oh so sweet and usually very kind. You love for love's sake, not for popularity, money, security, or any other reason. Since you are so caring, you are almost never as concerned with what people can do for you as with what you can do for them. You can easily put yourself in other people's shoes and feel what their lives must be like. You enjoy giving and receiving romantic expressions of affection, such as flowers, poetry, and music, especially if you have created these yourself. You daydream a lot and may need to make sure you see the people you love realistically. Sometimes you would rather dream about love than make it happen! You also need to watch a tendency to be taken advantage of by people who aren't as nice as you are. Some of you may be the more sneaky Pisces types, who need to learn to be direct and honest. You like quiet, soothing places, and being near water can be enjoyable for you. What you have to give: Peace. What you need to learn most: Persistence. Famous Persons with Venus in Pisces: Felicity's Keri Russell, Back Street Boys Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Now I realize that you've probably already looked up the Venus sign of that foxy fellow or feline in your English class. But you can also find the Venus sign of that new student who seems a little shy or left out, the friend-of-a-friend who shows off to get attention, or even one of your (gasp!) teachers or parents. You can understand anyone better by learning his or her Venus sign.
Table 2 below will get you thinking about people you know with certain personality traits, and the Venus signs that often correspond with them. Keep in mind that these are not ALWAYS their correct Venus sign, but certainly possibilities. You will have to check their birth chart to be sure. Table 2
If Someone You Know is: He or She May Have Venus In: artistic Taurus, Libra, Pisces distracted Gemini dramatic Leo emotional Cancer, Pisces feminine Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Pisces friendly Gemini, Leo, Libra, Aquarius hard-working Capricorn, Virgo independent Aquarius, Aries, Sagittarius indulgent Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius jealous Scorpio, Taurus late Gemini, Leo, Pisces, Sagittarius lazy Taurus, Leo, Pisces loves children Cancer, Taurus, Virgo, Leo masculine Aries, Scorpio mean Capricorn, Virgo, Scorpio popular Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius pushy Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Capricorn resentful Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Leo restless Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius secretive Scorpio, Pisces selfish Aries, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn sexy Aries, Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, Leo show off Leo shy Virgo, Aquarius, Pisces sneaky Scorpio, Pisces, Gemini spaced out Pisces, Aquarius, Gemini stable Taurus, Capricorn stingy Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn superficial Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Pisces, Aquarius talkative Gemini, Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius tends toward long-term love Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn tends toward short-term love Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius troubled in love Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn two-faced Gemini, Pisces Venus can also show you how you can learn from people you know. Let's say you have Venus in Pisces. With this Venus sign, you would typically be very flexible and easy to get along with in social situations. You would adapt easily to other people's needs, listen with concern to their problems, and sometimes even put their needs ahead of your own. While keeping your caring attitude and flexibility toward others, you may need to learn to stand up for yourself, speak what's on your mind, and stand your ground when people disagree with you.
On the other hand, let's say you have Venus in Leo. You would tend to be very confident, sure of what you want, and at times even demand your rights, but you may not be very attentive to or flexible about the concerns of others. You may need to learn to sincerely listen to people, admit when you've been wrong, and show through your actions that other people's interests mean something to you. A person with Venus in Pisces and a person with Venus in Leo could learn a great deal from each other. The more we develop strength in areas that are DIFFERENT from the ones we find comfortable, the more we become able to act intelligently in all kinds of situations. That’s social smarts!
In the end, no matter what our Venus sign, we can make wise choices. Knowing our Venus sign makes it easier because we know how we will tend to behave. The ability to act wisely in social situations and express our emotions well are gifts of Venus. These abilities will be come more and more important as we move into the 21st century. Just as settlers in a new country must be groundbreakers and pioneers, so can we be as we set a new course in how we act in our relationships. Call upon the strength of your Venus sign to say YES to those people and activities that give you confidence and peace, and NO to those that do not. Be a pioneer for love -- learn your Venus sign and how you can make the most of it! I hope we'll meet again on this new frontier. And I hope you'll join me for Part 3 to learn your best career and life development direction in "Life Success - Your Way to the Top - Your Moon's North Node."
© 2000 by Natori MooreOriginally appeared in Dell Horoscope, March 2000
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