Here's the moment you've
been waiting for. We're going to talk about your love life!
On top of that, we're going to use astrology to do it. I know it's
a little hard to hide your excitement. Because let's face it -- if
you've been around astrology for even a little while, you know it can be
In this article we'll look
at Venus, the planet that symbolizes your style of relating with others,
and the kinds of love experiences you tend to attract. Youíll learn
not only how Venus influences your love life, but how Venus is important
in the way you relate to EVERYONE. We don't usually learn much in
school about what Venus can teach us. Venus lessons usually happen
in our friendships, our families, and especially in our love relationships,
where we learn what works and what doesn't work in relationships, what
we like and donít like, how we treat others and how they treat us.
Hereís an example.
Suppose a friend loaned you a sweatshirt, and you lost it. You agreed
to pay her for it, but before you could do so, she went out and bought
herself a sweatshirt to replace it that cost $40 more than the one you
lost. She expected you to pay for the new one. What would you
do? Some of us would pay for the new sweatshirt and go without lunch
money for a week. Others would pay the friend but yell at her angrily
while doing so, or secretly vow to get even with her. Still others
would pay her back but then talk about her behind her back to all of her
friends so everyone would KNOW what she had done.
The smartest person would
probably tell her, ďLook, Iíll pay for the cost of the sweatshirt that
I lost, but Iím not willing to pay the extra $40.Ē Makes sense, right?
Yet how many of us would handle a situation like this so sensibly?
Whether itís owing money, owing an apology, talking to people about difficult
subjects, or expressing our emotions at the right time, situations like
these arise every day with people we know and care about. Yet most
of us are not naturally skilled in knowing how to use our Venus energies
to solve these problems.
Sometimes, in fact, the most
intellectually gifted among us are the least Venus-smart. Recently,
a group of San Diego high school honor students decided to spray paint
"1999", their year of graduation, in large numbers on a wall at their high
school. What they didn't realize is that doing this on public property
is now considered a crime in California. They were required to pay
a large fine and clean off the paint, and were also prevented from attending
their graduation ceremony and activities. You might say these were
harsh penalties, which perhaps they were. But think about it -- these
were honor students much like those you may know in your own school.
They held student council offices and were respected and well-liked by
their friends and teachers. What were they thinking? They had
plenty of "book smarts" or scholarly intelligence of the type we discussed
last month -- plenty of A's on their report cards -- but as far as knowing
how to act intelligently in this situation is concerned, they were not
Consider also the case of
a young woman I know, who recently spent two days crying to her friends
and boyfriend after she received her first traffic ticket at age 18.
She is smart, popular, accomplished, and on her way to a good college,
but receiving a traffic ticket threw her for an emotional loop. It
cut into her other activities for a few days. Don't get me wrong
-- traffic tickets are unpleasant and tears are a release of emotion that
we all need from time to time. But had this young woman been more
experienced in handling potentially upsetting situations like this one,
had she some insight into her emotional nature that the Venus sign can
provide, she may have been able to make it through her traffic ticket experience
with more composure.
In another more personal
example, when I was a first-year student at Stanford University in the
1980s, my roommate would get up early from our dorm room and go down the
hall to shower before her 8 a.m. math class. Then she would creep
back into our room while I was still asleep, leaving the wet towels she
had used to dry off after her shower at the foot of my bed. I would
find them an hour or so later when I woke up. I don't think she meant
to be mean by doing this. It was simply the most convenient empty
space she could find to put them in a small dorm room. But it bothered
me that she left them there, and I wished she wouldn't. Though I
had been an honor student, top athlete and Senior Class President at my
California high school, I found it NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE to ask her not to
leave her towels at the foot of my bed! And you thought Alicia Silverstone
was Clueless! It took months of conflict in my head about what to
do and trips to campus advisors before I could even begin to approach this
matter with her.
Then there are those people
-- and I'm sure you know some of them -- who, rather than not knowing quite
how to act in social situations, act by being loud, dramatic or surprisingly
violent. Consider the terrible events of the past few years that
have occurred on school grounds, such as the killings at Colorado's Columbine
High School in April 1999. Though it is tragic that no one was able
to stop Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold from their shooting spree, it's
also tragic that no one, including these young men themselves, had much
insight into why they were frustrated and angry enough to kill. The
birth charts of both Harris and Kleibold show Venus in a difficult relationship
to the planet Pluto. This is much like having Venus in Scorpio, which
at its worst can be angry, destructive, hell-bent on revenge, and have
a cold, hard, ďnothing to loseĒ attitude. This terrible coldness
enabled these boys to laugh cruelly at those they killed and follow through
on their destructive plans.
Their difficult Venus-Pluto
placements also gave Harris and Kleibold potentially explosive personalities
and a tendency to view themselves as either better or worse than everyone
else. As is typical of the dark side of Venus in Scorpio, these two
did not like anyone weak, female, well-liked, or popular, and they generally
killed people who fell into one of these categories. They killed
both those they felt superior to, and those who they thought had some advantage
over them -- those who were "insiders" in a way that Harris and Kleibold
were not. Without knowing much about what was going on inside of
these two young men, nothing was done in time to ward off their actions.
Imagine if Harris, Kleibold and their friends, parents and teachers had
known from the start that they both had very difficult astrological placements
of Venus. Imagine how they might have learned to express their anger
and frustrations, let off steam, and accept people who are different from
them. Maybe in time, they would even have learned why treating others
with kindness is important.
Now all this talk of tragedy
and destruction may seem kind of heavy, when we were only going to talk
about love! But love is more than daisies and chocolate-dipped strawberries.
It's learning why you treat people the way you do, and how you can treat
them better. Itís knowing what your needs are, knowing how to meet
your needs and those of the people you love. Studying the position
of Venus in the birth chart is a great way to begin to do this. To
find your exact Venus sign, you will need a copy of your
individual natal (birth) chart. Venus can be in one of FIVE signs
at your birth, unlike Mercury, as we saw last month, which can be in one
of three. For a general clue to which five signs may contain your
Venus, look up your Sun sign in the first column of Table 1. Then
read across to the right to determine your possible Venus signs.
As you can tell, it's a lot more fun when you have a copy of your birth
chart and can find your exact Venus placement. In the meantime, you
can have fun speculating which Venus sign seems to fit you best. > >
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