By Natori Moore

I can hear the complaints already.  “But Libra and Scorpio aren’t the only relationship signs!”  That’s true.  Every sign is relationship-oriented in its way.  Cancer, for example, will cuddle with you on a cold night.  Aquarius wants to be your friend.

But when it comes right down to L-O-V-E – that Sleepless in Seattle, Splendor in the Grass, Hollywood kind of love – we’re talking Libra and Scorpio.  Romantic and sexual love falls under the domain of these two signs, and those born under these signs can have much to teach us about how to successfully manage relationships.

The astrological relationship progression from Libra to Scorpio is supposed to go something like this.  Lovely Libra, sign of romance, meets someone likeable (you, for instance) at a party, charms you with social graces, invites you to several lighthearted, romantic dates over the course of a few months, then after a year or more, asks for a marriage or commitment.  As cool and detached air signs, Librans value the social aspects of relationship.  They enjoy the courting period when beauty, conversation and social grace are used to woo a partner.

Ideally, once the Libra courting period has reached its peak, we enter into the realm of Scorpio.  Yes, it’s a little like entering the Scorpion’s lair.  Scary, but potentially transformative.  During the Scorpio phase of relationships, we make deeper investments and attachments with a partner.  We share emotions, possessions, finances, sexuality, and perhaps create a child, a business or joint project together.  This might be described as the “urge to merge” phase.  Out of this merging may come greater growth and renewal for both persons involved.

One problem we have had as a culture for some time now is we rush into the Scorpio aspects of relationship before taking time for the Libran “getting to know you” period.  We have gotten involved sexually without courtship rituals.  We have moved in together, borrowed money from each other, and expected sexual fidelity without knowing each other socially very well.

The problem with this Scorpio-too-soon approach is that the intensity level of Scorpio cannot be sustained indefinitely. Like the heat of a fierce fire, relationships that begin with these premature attempts at intimacy often burn themselves out.  We may find that we feel only lust for a person that we don’t really like, or grow bitter toward someone we once felt passionate about.  In the worst cases, Scorpio-heavy relationships can erupt in violence or difficult divorces.

So, for each of us, it’s good to keep some distance in our associations at first, and aim for balance in our lives between the energies of lighthearted, romantic Libra and passionate, determined Scorpio.  From the Librans in our lives, we can learn to give others’ needs equal priority to our own, value beauty and charm, and cultivate the art of romance.  From the Scorpions we know, we can learn to experience deep emotions, make transformative commitments, and develop constructive uses of power and sexuality.

Of course, romantic love being what it is, those born under these two signs may on occasion find themselves lost in relationships, and need assistance to redefine their essential selves.  That’s something they can ask their Aries, Taurus, Leo or Capricorn friends to help them do.

Here’s to Libra and Scorpio – the relationship signs!
 

Originally appeared in Star Club News September 1994